When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it can feel like you’re carrying it with them — and that you’re never quite doing the right thing. There’s no perfect script, but there are approaches that genuinely help, and some common traps worth avoiding. Here’s a practical place to start.
Understand what you can and can’t control
You can offer love, boundaries and support. You can’t do someone’s recovery for them. Letting go of the idea that you can “fix” it — while staying present and consistent — is often the most powerful shift a family member can make.
How to talk to them without pushing them away
- Choose a calm, private moment — not the middle of a crisis or an argument
- Speak from care, not blame (“I’m worried about you” rather than “you always…”)
- Listen more than you lecture
- Be specific about support you can offer, and the boundaries you need
Look after yourself, too
Supporting someone through addiction is exhausting, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Your own wellbeing isn’t selfish — it’s part of being able to help sustainably. Many families benefit from their own support alongside their loved one’s.
When to bring in professional support
If you feel out of your depth, that’s not a failure — it’s a signal. A recovery coach can give both your loved one and your family practical structure, a plan, and a steady outside presence, which often takes pressure off the relationships that matter most.
How Redwood supports families
Redwood Recovery offers one-to-one support for individuals and the families around them, across Sydney, Melbourne and the Gold Coast. We help you support your loved one without losing yourself in the process. You can learn about family support or book a confidential conversation.
Recovery coaching complements — and never replaces — medical or clinical care. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger or crisis, please contact 000, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
